incident reports
The Daily Waste
The Daily Waste is an unnecessary publication covering office refrigerators, celestial performance reviews, missing socks, dental small talk, and other matters of no importance.
The Fresno hardware store has a policy now
We published a phone number. We should not have published a phone number. The store has responded with a laminated document.
Performance review: the Sun
Attendance flawless. Punctuality exemplary. Attitude a concern. Does not accept feedback, does not self-assess, and is not eligible for promotion.
The office fridge: an archaeological survey
A stratigraphic survey of a shared refrigerator. Layer four predates the lease. Layer six is load-bearing. Excavation was halted.
A field guide to the 6AM gym man
Range, plumage, territorial display, and vocalisation. He is always finishing. He has been finishing for eleven years. Conservation status: thriving.
Who is Action Jack?
He wears a pink ski mask. He may own this domain. A concerning number of women claim to know him personally. We investigated and learned nothing.
Dental small talk: a transcript
He asks questions. You have a suction tube in your mouth. We analysed it with negotiation frameworks and found something unexpected.
Missing: one sock
A laundry room poster campaign, reproduced week by week. It acquires a photograph, a case number, a lamination, and eventually a correspondent.